I Brought My Siblings to Lagos, Now They’re Turning Against Me

My dear sister, first of all, you have done more than many in your situation would ever do. You left the comfort of home, struggled in Lagos, built yourself from nothing, and then opened your hands wide to carry your siblings along. That is no small sacrifice. You should never feel guilty for expecting respect and gratitude in return.

What you are experiencing now is called entitlement. Sometimes when people receive help for too long, they forget the sacrifice behind it and begin to think it is their right. That is exactly what your siblings are showing you. But remember this: you are not their enemy. They are fighting against the very hand that has been feeding them.

Here’s my advice to you. Do not continue to live in fear under your own roof. Protect your peace and protect your life. If they cannot respect you, you have every right to set boundaries. It is not wickedness to ask them to leave your house; it is wisdom. You are not throwing them away — you are teaching them responsibility. If they truly want independence, let them go and build it for themselves.

Also, involve your parents and explain everything to them clearly. It is better they hear it directly from you before your siblings twist the story. Your parents may not be able to solve the problem physically, but at least they will understand why you made your decision.

Lastly, let go of fear. If you live in constant suspicion that they may harm you, then you are not safe. Take action. Move them out of your space before something irreparable happens. Family shame will fade, but your life cannot be replaced.

You have done your part. The rest is in their hands. Please, choose yourself this time.

Below👇is the 💔message I got

Please help me share this, I don’t know who else to turn to. I am a 36-year-old woman, the first daughter in a family of five siblings. We are two girls and three boys, with me as the eldest. Life in our village was never easy. My parents struggled with farming just to put food on the table, and even sending us to school was a heavy burden. After I finished secondary school, I made the bold decision to leave for Lagos in search of greener pastures.

At first, life in Lagos humbled me. I worked as a househelp, then as a salesgirl in different shops, sometimes earning barely enough to feed myself. But I was determined. I learned to save, to endure insults, and to keep moving forward. Years later, through God’s grace and persistence, I finally got stable work in a wholesale business. From there, I managed to start a small side hustle. It was not easy, but step by step, things improved.

When I became a little stable, the first thing in my heart was my family. I couldn’t forget my siblings who were still in the village with my parents. So, I decided to bring them one by one to Lagos. First, I brought my younger sister, then the boys followed. I took full responsibility — feeding them, clothing them, paying their school fees. I became like a second mother to them. I even had plans to bring my parents and the last-born to Lagos once I was fully settled.

But today, my heart is broken because of the very people I sacrificed everything for. Instead of appreciating me, my siblings have turned against me. At first, it was small attitudes — they would gossip behind my back, keep secrets, and act like I was their enemy. But recently, things escalated. They started ganging up, refusing to listen to me in the house I worked so hard to build.

One day, after I confronted them about their behavior, my younger sister raised her voice at me, telling me I was “controlling” and that “just because you brought us to Lagos doesn’t mean you own our lives.” My brothers joined in, and before I knew it, there was a heated argument. Words were exchanged, and it turned into a fight. I couldn’t believe it — the same siblings I slaved for, now standing as if I was their problem.

The fight shook me so much that I began to fear for my life. What if one day they decide to poison me out of bitterness? What if all my sweat ends up destroying me instead of blessing me? I now live in fear under my own roof. They eat my food, yet they treat me like a stranger. I asked them to leave my house if they couldn’t respect me, but they refused, saying I had no right to throw them out since we are family.

Now, I am torn. Should I involve my parents even though they are still struggling in the village? Should I take strong action to send them out, even if people call me wicked? Or should I endure their disrespect just to avoid family shame? For 17 years I have labored for their sake, and this is the reward I get.

Please, I am confused. What should I do?