My husband’s pride won’t let us breathe financially

Your story is the painful reality of many marriages where pride and societal expectations overshadow practical living. You have carried your home with dignity and strength, but it’s natural to feel overwhelmed.

The first truth here is that your husband’s issue is not lack of opportunity, it is pride. Pride is costly in marriage, especially when it stops a man from providing. A job does not define a man’s worth—his ability to sacrifice for his family does. He is prioritizing “what people will say” over the wellbeing of his wife and children, and that is something he must confront if your home will know peace.

Second, understand that your sacrifice is commendable, but you cannot carry this alone forever. Silent resentment will eat you up if nothing changes. You need to have an honest, calm but firm conversation with him. Not in anger, not as a fight, but as a partner saying, “I cannot continue like this. The children are watching. We must both contribute, even if it means starting small.”

If he refuses, then you must continue strengthening yourself financially and emotionally. Secure your children’s future first—invest in their education, save in small ways, and build a support system for yourself. Do not allow guilt or fear to silence you. If he loves his family, he will eventually swallow his pride when he sees you pressing forward.

Lastly, remember that financial struggles can make or break marriages, but what truly breaks them is silence and resentment. Don’t let his pride drown your joy. Carry your cross wisely, but also set boundaries. It is okay to insist that he does something, no matter how little. Love must be balanced with accountability.

You are strong, but even strong women need relief. Don’t lose yourself trying to cover a man who refuses to bend. Pray for him, push forward with your work, but never stop demanding responsibility. Because marriage is two people rowing the boat together—not one person rowing while the other worries about “what people will say.”

Below👇is the inbox message I got

I am a 39-year-old woman, married for 9 years, and we have three children. When I got married, I believed marriage was about partnership, sacrifice, and building each other. But today, I feel like I am the only one carrying the weight of our home.

My husband is a good man at heart. He doesn’t drink, he doesn’t cheat, and he doesn’t abuse me. But when it comes to finances, he has so much pride and ego. He lost his job about four years ago, and since then, he has been struggling to get something stable. I stepped in and started doing small businesses to sustain us—foodstuff trading, tailoring, and even selling second-hand clothes. God has been faithful, and we’ve never gone to bed hungry.

But the problem is, my husband refuses to take certain jobs because he feels they are “beneath him.” People have recommended opportunities—driving jobs, security work, even helping a friend with construction—but he always says, “What will people say if they see me doing this?”

Meanwhile, school fees, house rent, hospital bills, and feeding fall on me. I am burning out, but if I complain, he accuses me of disrespecting him. Sometimes I feel angry at myself for tolerating it this long. My family says I should leave, but I don’t want to scatter my marriage because of money.

I love my husband, but I don’t know how much longer I can keep carrying everyone while he waits for a “big opportunity.” I don’t want my children to grow up resenting him either. Please, what do I do?

What do you think about this? If you were in her shoes, would you keep carrying the burden alone or find a way to shake your husband into action? Let’s hear your thoughts.