My wife abandoned our daughter, now she wants forgiveness but our child rejects her.

This is a very delicate situation, and you are right to feel torn—it’s not easy balancing the responsibilities of being a husband and a father when both roles are pulling you in different directions.

First, acknowledge your daughter’s pain as valid. At 8 years old, being abandoned by her mother was a deep wound, and at 14, she’s at an age where emotions are heightened, and trust is not easily rebuilt. Do not force her to forgive or accept her mother immediately, because that would only push her further away. Healing for her will take time, and it should be at her own pace.

Second, forgiveness does not mean instant reconciliation. If you still love your wife and believe she is truly remorseful, you can forgive her in your heart and allow her to slowly earn her way back into the family. But it has to be gradual. Let your wife understand that her return will require patience, humility, and consistent effort. She cannot expect to walk back into your daughter’s life as though nothing happened.

Third, protect your daughter while creating room for healing. Start by allowing small, controlled interactions—letters, supervised visits, or short conversations—if your daughter agrees. This way, she feels safe and not forced into a relationship she’s not ready for. Therapy or counseling could also help, giving your daughter a neutral space to express her anger and grief while guiding her toward eventual healing.

Lastly, remember that your loyalty as a father should not be questioned. Your daughter must always feel secure in your love and support, regardless of what decision you make about her mother. At the same time, as a husband, you have the right to explore reconciliation if you truly desire it, but only in a way that respects your daughter’s healing process.

In the end, this situation requires patience and balance. You can forgive your wife, but rebuilding trust with your daughter will take years of consistent effort. Don’t rush it. Love, consistency, and honesty will be the key to navigating this painful but potentially redeeming journey.

If you were in this man’s shoes, would you give the wife a second chance despite the daughter’s refusal, or would you close the door forever?

Below 👇 is the inbox message I got

Marriage and parenting can bring unexpected challenges, but sometimes the wounds from past decisions make it difficult to move forward. This inbox story is from a man who feels torn between his love for his wife and the resentment his daughter holds toward her mother.

I am a 45-year-old man, and I’ve been carrying a heavy burden in my heart for years. Six years ago, after a serious misunderstanding, my wife walked out of our marriage and abandoned our then 8-year-old daughter. She left the child in my care and never looked back.

Those years were some of the hardest of my life, raising our daughter alone while still loving the woman who left us. Despite the pain, I never remarried because deep inside, my love for her never completely died. I’ve always believed people make mistakes and deserve second chances.

Now, my wife has come back asking for forgiveness, wanting to reunite with us. She says she regrets everything, that life without her family has been unbearable, and that she’s ready to make amends. I find myself in a difficult position. My heart wants to forgive her, but our daughter—now 14—feels very differently.

She doesn’t want to see her mother, talk to her, or hear her name. Whenever I bring up the idea of reconciliation, my daughter shuts down or bursts into anger. She keeps reminding me of the nights she cried herself to sleep, wondering why her mother abandoned her. She tells me she can never forgive someone who left her when she needed her the most.

I feel torn. As a husband, I want to embrace my wife again and rebuild what we lost. As a father, I cannot ignore the pain of my daughter, who has every right to feel betrayed. Sometimes, I wonder if accepting my wife back would make me a selfish father, disregarding the trauma of my child. Other times, I wonder if denying my wife forgiveness makes me a cold husband.

That is why I’m reaching out here. I don’t know how to handle this situation. Should I give my wife the second chance she is begging for, or should I stand firmly by my daughter who is refusing to welcome her mother back into her life?