I feel the weight of your pain sist, and I need you to know that your confusion is normal. You have carried the heavy burden of raising your children alone, and now that someone is offering love, it is natural to want it. But the true test of love is not just about how a man makes you feel — it is about how he respects the people who are part of your life.
Your children are not baggage. They are your blessings, the very reason you survived the hardest season of your life. Any man who truly loves you must also accept and love your children. If he cannot open his heart to them, then he does not deserve you, because you and your children are a package. You cannot separate yourself from them — not now, not ever.
I know the thought of loneliness scares you, but think about this carefully: would you rather have temporary companionship at the cost of breaking your children’s hearts, or would you hold on to the bond you built with them and trust that the right man — someone who values you and your children — will come?
You have already proven your strength for the past 12 years. Love will find you again, but it must be the kind of love that uplifts you and your children together, not one that demands you to abandon them. Do not let desperation push you into a relationship that will destroy the very family you worked so hard to build.
Stay strong. Choose wisely. And remember: a man who asks you to give up your children is not a man who truly loves you. You deserve someone who will hold your hand and also embrace your children as his own.
Hug🫂 🤗
Below 👇 is the message I got..
Sometimes widows are forced to choose between love and motherhood, but no mother should ever have to.
Here’s a true life story from my inbox that will touch your heart.
Hello, I really need help because my heart feels torn apart and I don’t know who to talk to. I am 41 years old, a widow, and a mother of two beautiful children — my daughter who is 13 and my son who is 15. My husband died when I was only 29. At that time, my second child was barely three months old, and life as I knew it turned upside down.
The years that followed were not easy. Raising two children on my own was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. There were nights I cried myself to sleep because I didn’t know how I would pay their school fees, and there were days I went without food just to make sure they ate. But by God’s grace, I managed to raise them into respectful, loving children. They are my pride, my hope, and my reason for never giving up.
Now, after so many years alone, a man has come into my life. At first, I was happy, even excited, because I thought maybe this was God finally sending me someone to love and care for me after all the struggles. He is a good man in many ways — financially stable, caring, and has shown me attention that I have not felt in years.
But there is one problem. He has made it clear that he does not want me to bring my children into the marriage. He said he wants a wife, not someone else’s children, and that if I am serious about starting a new life with him, I should let my children remain with my family members or even consider sending them to boarding school so they will not “interfere” with our marriage.
Hearing this shattered me. How can I abandon my children after everything we have been through together? They stood by me during my darkest moments, and I promised myself I would always put them first. At the same time, I am scared of living the rest of my life alone. I crave companionship, a partner to grow old with, and someone to share my burdens with.
My heart is in conflict. Part of me wants to follow love and accept his conditions, but another part of me screams that no man should come between me and my children. Sometimes I even feel guilty for entertaining the thought, like I am betraying my children for wanting happiness. I feel like if I let this man go, maybe I will never find another chance at love again.
To make matters worse, my children already sense something. My son once told me quietly, “Mummy, I don’t think uncle likes us.” My daughter is more reserved, but I see it in her eyes. They are scared of losing me. And in truth, I am scared too. But I am also scared of growing old alone, without a partner by my side.
I am confused, hurt, and afraid of making the wrong decision. Every night I ask myself should I give this relationship up to protect my children, Or should I sacrifice my children’s closeness to me for the sake of companionship and be called MRS again?
I feel guilty for even thinking about choosing a man over the children who stood by me through everything.everything.
Please I me your advice what should I do?
Please be gentle with the your advice she's a woman with feelings, it's not easy to be alone food many years.
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